[ He couldn't help it. Mikado's right there, and after everything and all the trouble he's caused...
When the other's lips part Sam leans in further and actually tries to lead a little and take the initiative, sliding his tongue along the other's lower lip to test the waters before he tries pressing it against Mikado's. Usually he's on the receiving end of this act, or at least following along; but if Mikado will let him then, well. ]
[ Mikado has no problem letting Sam take the lead in the kiss. Sam isn't, after all, one of the people that Mikado has to do some kind of power play with; he's Sam. So Mikado relaxes into the kiss and lets the tongue in, moves his own very gently against it, making it clear he's not trying to take over.
His hand pets over the back of Sam's head a little again too, in a move that will hopefully come off encouraging rather than condescending. ]
[ It's true he lacks the competitiveness and need for dominance that many people in Between have. Sam's constantly being strung around by those types, always struggling to find his footing and match up to them. Being able to actually lead to some degree without challenge or ridicule is kind of...nice. Especially so since it's Mikado.
Sam will become increasingly confident in small increments, though he stills takes the receptive sort of role to tilt his head for a better angle. ]
[ Mikado remains completely receptive, though that issue of being the one to fix the angle hasn't occurred to him at all, one way or the other. He's not sure he's really good at kissing this way, as much as he likes it. It seems to take more reminding himself of what he's doing, being careful of reacting without pushing, and his cheeks heat a little with self-consciousness in a way they wouldn't with almost any other partner.
He finds himself shifting slightly, moving his legs under him to be more stable as if that will help somehow. ]
[ In response Sam will shift a bit too, but more so that he can press closer and rise up on his knees a little. And of course following that he allows himself to become a little more enthused about the kiss, deepening it and turning his grip from one of desperation to more of a wanton sort of embrace, holding the other close as he pants softly through his nose. ]
[ This is so not what he intended, at all. Not what he expected coming here, even with his flippant comment about touching. He doesn't protest the kiss being deepened, and tries his best to keep up with breathing and kissing and not being overwhelmed by the nearness of Sam, by the desperation he himself feels that he's trying to hold back.
It's not about sex, that desperation, but it's easy enough for it to be channeled that way too, for him to let all the nervousness and confusion he's been feeling about well, feelings, as desire. He's letting Sam have his moment though, he reminds himself, Sam is the one who needs comforting and taking care of, and...
And Mikado pushes forward into the kiss more aggressively, suddenly. ]
Mmn...! [ The sound Sam makes in response is surprised yes, but in a delighted sort of way. His hands curl in the other's shirt as he surrenders immediately, barely even putting up a fight; not when it comes from Mikado. If it were Dio or Izaya maybe, but not his Angel. And especially not when he'd wanted some sort of confirmation and validation that Mikado wanted it as much as him.
This just makes his body flush with relief and want, holding as close as the older teen will let him. ]
[ Sam is so amazingly responsive that Mikado can't help but be charmed by him. While he likes letting Sam lead sometimes - and there's a memory there, false memories there - the fact that he doesn't question or mock Mikado taking control is a pretty nice thing. even though they're in the middle of the living room still and other people live here and there's a lot of unsettled stuff between them, getting closer is all Mikado is thinking of.
Well, almost all. ]
You're better now, right? Not hurt, not... sore?
[ He breaks the kiss to mutter it against Sam's lips, moving just far enough that the boy can hopefully respond. ]
No, I'm...I'm fine, [ Sam breathes against his lips, words more heated than he means them to be, but unable to help it given the suggestion Mikado's carry. Rayflo's fast asleep; it's daytime. And it's a fair distance from here to where his room is located, door undoubtedly closed... That should be enough right?
Although even if it isn't the prospect of being able to be right here with Mikado, right now, is far too much for him to worry over the rest. He just wants to get lost in another of those fervent kisses. ]
[ He can't seem to stop saying that to Sam, double-checking with him, making sure. He does care about his other partners, sometimes, some of them, but this level of constant awareness has been mostly with Sam from the beginning. He'd put it down to age at first, but now it was starting to feel like something else.
Mikado went right back to kissing, despite the words, because it seemed to be what they both wanted. Well, kissing and tugging at Sam's hips to align him a little more solidly in Mikado's lap. Despite having asked if he was sore, Mikado isn't really thinking about fucking right now, just being close, but it's better to know at least. When he starts to touch Sam more, it's still relatively soothing gestures, hands sliding up his shirt and then petting back down over his sides, rubbing at his back, caressing everywhere. ]
[ It doesn't need to be anything in particular. All Sam wants is to be with him, to be able to touch and hold onto him and do everything that he'd always wanted to...before? No, that wasn't right. He hadn't stayed awake at night thinking about what it would be like to do more than kiss or embrace one another. Those memories were the false ones.
But he had stayed awake before, thinking about what it had been like to be with Mikado, and the strange juxtaposition of those two instances together make his heart throb and swell with a twist of emotion he doesn't know how to handle, other than to press his lips back against Mikado's with a want and need he's very rarely ever expressed.
He isn't at all opposed to having his hips adjusted, nor fitting them snuggly against the older teen himself afterwards. It just means that they're closer, that like this he can feel the warmth of the older boy and know that he's here. Despite everything Sam can do, everything that's become awkward between the, Mikado is still here with him. He's not sure he's ever been so glad for something so simple.
The next sound he makes is almost a whine, but it's not out of wantonness or neediness; it's nothing but adoration for the other, filled to the brim with emotion as he loops his arms around the other's shoulders and leans his chest against him. ]
[ If it were just about his feelings, Mikado could caress and kiss Sam all day. In fact, he does take a little bit of time to do that, drawing out each kiss until he's nearly out of breath, rubbing his hands over Sam's belly, chest, back, arms... just like he's trying to caress every part of him. He avoids the neck, now, but everywhere else is fair game and...
Well, he's a teenage boy, after all, and he hasn't been able to be with Sam since that makeout session in the illusion that was cut off. So however much he intends to just caress and kiss, there does come a point where he's hard against Sam, where the way he's squared their hips up makes it pretty clear, makes it easy to rock up into Sam as well. He opens his mouth to clarify things again, but he's out of breath, and after all, he's done it already.
There's no cheating with Sam - no magic-power-undressing - so he has to do it the right way, tugging open Sam's pants with fingers slightly-trembly, less smooth than other times. He's not moving to touch himself or even give himself some relief from being trapped in his pants, but instead gently fondling his friend's cock as he continues to give him little kisses, gentle light ones now that he's out of breath. ]
[ He's done it and then gone even further and Sam doesn't have a single complaint about the matter. If anything having the older teen press up against him from below like that only makes his own growing erection that much more noticeable when he feels the other's hands on him. As embarrassing as it is he goes from only half-hard to fully hard in record time with Mikado pressed against him from below and his hand wrapped around him in front.
It has him squeezing his thighs on either side of Mikado's hips and groaning quietly, head ducked just a little now that his mouth is free; and just like the older boy beneath him he uses this moment to pant softly until those kisses renew themselves and Sam winds up following each of them eagerly, rocking his hips a little. ]
[ Kissing is so very nice. But Mikado has something he wants to say, and so he kisses across from Sam's mouth to his ear, whispers against it softly. ]
I couldn't stop thinking about you. Even with everything that's happened, I keep thinking of that day in the alley... the other alley, the one that wasn't real, the way you stepped away from me just when things were getting there and I wanted you so badly then... I keep wanting you.
[ He presses a kiss against the shell of Sam's ear, then catches the lobe between his teeth, reaching out with his other hand to catch Sam's, push it downward. ]
[ The shorter of the pair practically whines in the back of throat when Mikado's lips brush his ear and he hears the other's words, that admission that sends heat pooling straight to his gut.
He remembers that day now that Mikado brings it up, and vividly so. He can recall wanting the older teen just as badly but lacking the experience and exposure to sex and other intimates acts in the false world. He'd been embarrassed by his arousal, hesitant and uncertain about going 'too far.' It's probably the way he'd still be, if he hadn't been whisked off to the end of the world where the only means of survival involved that.
But hearing Mikado remembers too, that he hasn't stopped wanting him since despite everything that happens brings him back to that moment in his own head and how hot and hard he'd been; deja vu hits him again, but this time he doesn't mind one bit. He lets the brunet move his hand and even takes the initiative to shift his hips back just a little, so he has room to press his palm against the other's arousal through his pants.
He's no good at talking in these sorts of situations, but he can't help but want to try after hearing Mikado speak to him like that. ]
Mmn, [ he confirms the request first and then: ] I really...I...I wanted you a lot then too.
[ In that world too, he'd struggled between wanting Sam and not wanting to push Sam. Here, he's put Sam's hand where he wants it, but can't bring himself to insist on more. He lets up the pressure, leaves Sam to do as he will, hoping that he'll take a little more initiative. In the meantime, he goes from fondling to stroking Sam's cock, but it's a slow contemplative kind of movement, not any kind of rush to orgasm yet. ]
When I came here before, even when I came to talk to you about that, even knowing I had to be honest with you, I was wishing I could touch you then.
[ He can't seem to stop it, the urge to be honest, to confess his desires. He's still whispering against Sam's ear, very soft, very intimate. ]
From...from before? [ He whispers back, nearly just as quiet as he thinks back to the moment he'd found Mikado with those cuts and the knife that had been given to him. He still has it, buried somewhere deep beneath his spare clothes that haven't disappeared at the bottom of a drawer. It makes him uncomfortable to have it in his possession given the stance of weapons he'd grown up around, but he's not sure what else to do with it.
And thinking about it now doesn't help when he feels the other's fingers wrapping around him and stroking slowly, face heating as he mirrors Mikado's earlier actions and works open the front of his pants, drawing him out into the air as he swallows. ]
[ Mikado shifts slightly, and wiggles his hips, trying to get his pants to come down a little further without having to pull at them himself. He's not wearing any underwear, and the scars on one of his hips come into view a little, just a row of little vertical lines, right over the hip bone.
He doesn't stop touching Sam, but he does back off from his ear, enough that he can look into his face instead. ]
I hope it's not too big a turn-off.
[ He slides his free hand up to cup Sam's face, very gently, stroking a finger against his cheek. It's almost an apology, really, and the way he slides his other hand downward over Sam's cock, plays fingers against his belly while cradling his erection, wanting to not overwhelm him with sexual touch and the question at once, but not wanting to break the contact either. ]
No, that's... It's not anything like that, [ Sam assures him, though his own voice remains quieted as he peeks up with cheeks dusted a light pink. The marks do stand out now by comparison, and when he looks down he can't help but feel a pang of guilt--and he's not sure why.
He takes one hand away from Mikado's front to instead very lightly brush the pads of his fingers over one mark tentatively. ]
[ Mikado traces his finger down over Sam's jaw, then drops the hand down to rest on his shoulder, resisting any urge to play with his neck. ]
I just wanted to be sure you were okay with them.
[ He gives a little gentle squeeze to Sam's cock, then laughs gently. ]
You still want me?
[ There's a mischief dancing in his eyes that doesn't fit with the more serious issue of the scars, that says he doesn't want to take them too seriously, take himself too seriously, in the moment. ]
[ It's a very odd combination for the teen to process, face flaring up at the squeeze and laugh as his cock jumps a little in response. Which of course is embarrassing and has him squirming, stubbornly pulling at the other's pants in response. ]
I...I always want you okay??? [ He blurts it out like he's admitting some great secret. ] Scar or not! I l...I like you.
[ He just had to make it about feelings, didn't he? Mikado tries his best to keep the playful smile on, despite the way his heart sinks at those words. He knows it, they both know it, the like each other. But if it's going to come up all the time, this whole situation is going to be pretty painful. He hadn't meant to bring that up, call it into question, anything. He'd been asking about the physical, nothing more.
Apparently, it doesn't work that way for Sam in the same way it can for Mikado. He leans in to kiss Sam again, as sweetly as he can manage, channeling the frustration into affection instead, for Sam's sake.
He tugs their hips together closer again, then helps Sam with getting his pants open, even as he kisses him, suddenly thinking of something he wants them to try. ]
Mmh... [ He'll find the younger melting into him easily then, wanting and willing and all but squirming when he feels the other press up into him like that and bring their hips together. Sam can't help but rock his hips down against him following that motion, pressing closer against him with a small sound. ]
[ Okay, crisis averted. They don't have to talk about feelings right this second. It's fine. It's going to be absolutely fine.
Mikado tells himself that despite the sick feeling in his stomach at how very easily Sam melts into him again, how easily his friend just accepts that Mikado can't respond to those kinds of confessions properly.
He's going to fuck this up, he knows it. But apparently not right this second, because right this second Sam is in his arms - even though he admitted to being a gangster! - and Mikado himself is fumbling with Sam's dick with one hand and his own with the other trying to do... something or other. What was he doing again?
Right, this... he's tries to press their cocks together, which is kind of difficult because he's trying to get Sam's hand out of the way, and his own to stop fumbling, and himself to do anything but think about feelings. ]
[ Best of luck, Mikado. Sam is all about feelings and probably won't be much help with that at all in any sort of situation let alone this one. Even with the fumbling distracting him and the mess of handiwork going on Sam finds enough in it to enjoy himself, although he does pull back a bit to pant for breath after a moment and look down, wondering if there's some way he can better coordinate himself here.
He's not really sure what Mikado's trying to do. ]
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When the other's lips part Sam leans in further and actually tries to lead a little and take the initiative, sliding his tongue along the other's lower lip to test the waters before he tries pressing it against Mikado's. Usually he's on the receiving end of this act, or at least following along; but if Mikado will let him then, well. ]
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His hand pets over the back of Sam's head a little again too, in a move that will hopefully come off encouraging rather than condescending. ]
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Sam will become increasingly confident in small increments, though he stills takes the receptive sort of role to tilt his head for a better angle. ]
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He finds himself shifting slightly, moving his legs under him to be more stable as if that will help somehow. ]
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It's not about sex, that desperation, but it's easy enough for it to be channeled that way too, for him to let all the nervousness and confusion he's been feeling about well, feelings, as desire. He's letting Sam have his moment though, he reminds himself, Sam is the one who needs comforting and taking care of, and...
And Mikado pushes forward into the kiss more aggressively, suddenly. ]
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This just makes his body flush with relief and want, holding as close as the older teen will let him. ]
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Well, almost all. ]
You're better now, right? Not hurt, not... sore?
[ He breaks the kiss to mutter it against Sam's lips, moving just far enough that the boy can hopefully respond. ]
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Although even if it isn't the prospect of being able to be right here with Mikado, right now, is far too much for him to worry over the rest. He just wants to get lost in another of those fervent kisses. ]
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[ He can't seem to stop saying that to Sam, double-checking with him, making sure. He does care about his other partners, sometimes, some of them, but this level of constant awareness has been mostly with Sam from the beginning. He'd put it down to age at first, but now it was starting to feel like something else.
Mikado went right back to kissing, despite the words, because it seemed to be what they both wanted. Well, kissing and tugging at Sam's hips to align him a little more solidly in Mikado's lap. Despite having asked if he was sore, Mikado isn't really thinking about fucking right now, just being close, but it's better to know at least. When he starts to touch Sam more, it's still relatively soothing gestures, hands sliding up his shirt and then petting back down over his sides, rubbing at his back, caressing everywhere. ]
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But he had stayed awake before, thinking about what it had been like to be with Mikado, and the strange juxtaposition of those two instances together make his heart throb and swell with a twist of emotion he doesn't know how to handle, other than to press his lips back against Mikado's with a want and need he's very rarely ever expressed.
He isn't at all opposed to having his hips adjusted, nor fitting them snuggly against the older teen himself afterwards. It just means that they're closer, that like this he can feel the warmth of the older boy and know that he's here. Despite everything Sam can do, everything that's become awkward between the, Mikado is still here with him. He's not sure he's ever been so glad for something so simple.
The next sound he makes is almost a whine, but it's not out of wantonness or neediness; it's nothing but adoration for the other, filled to the brim with emotion as he loops his arms around the other's shoulders and leans his chest against him. ]
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Well, he's a teenage boy, after all, and he hasn't been able to be with Sam since that makeout session in the illusion that was cut off. So however much he intends to just caress and kiss, there does come a point where he's hard against Sam, where the way he's squared their hips up makes it pretty clear, makes it easy to rock up into Sam as well. He opens his mouth to clarify things again, but he's out of breath, and after all, he's done it already.
There's no cheating with Sam - no magic-power-undressing - so he has to do it the right way, tugging open Sam's pants with fingers slightly-trembly, less smooth than other times. He's not moving to touch himself or even give himself some relief from being trapped in his pants, but instead gently fondling his friend's cock as he continues to give him little kisses, gentle light ones now that he's out of breath. ]
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It has him squeezing his thighs on either side of Mikado's hips and groaning quietly, head ducked just a little now that his mouth is free; and just like the older boy beneath him he uses this moment to pant softly until those kisses renew themselves and Sam winds up following each of them eagerly, rocking his hips a little. ]
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I couldn't stop thinking about you. Even with everything that's happened, I keep thinking of that day in the alley... the other alley, the one that wasn't real, the way you stepped away from me just when things were getting there and I wanted you so badly then... I keep wanting you.
[ He presses a kiss against the shell of Sam's ear, then catches the lobe between his teeth, reaching out with his other hand to catch Sam's, push it downward. ]
Will you touch me too, Sam?
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He remembers that day now that Mikado brings it up, and vividly so. He can recall wanting the older teen just as badly but lacking the experience and exposure to sex and other intimates acts in the false world. He'd been embarrassed by his arousal, hesitant and uncertain about going 'too far.' It's probably the way he'd still be, if he hadn't been whisked off to the end of the world where the only means of survival involved that.
But hearing Mikado remembers too, that he hasn't stopped wanting him since despite everything that happens brings him back to that moment in his own head and how hot and hard he'd been; deja vu hits him again, but this time he doesn't mind one bit. He lets the brunet move his hand and even takes the initiative to shift his hips back just a little, so he has room to press his palm against the other's arousal through his pants.
He's no good at talking in these sorts of situations, but he can't help but want to try after hearing Mikado speak to him like that. ]
Mmn, [ he confirms the request first and then: ] I really...I...I wanted you a lot then too.
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When I came here before, even when I came to talk to you about that, even knowing I had to be honest with you, I was wishing I could touch you then.
[ He can't seem to stop it, the urge to be honest, to confess his desires. He's still whispering against Sam's ear, very soft, very intimate. ]
My scars aren't going to gross you out, are they?
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And thinking about it now doesn't help when he feels the other's fingers wrapping around him and stroking slowly, face heating as he mirrors Mikado's earlier actions and works open the front of his pants, drawing him out into the air as he swallows. ]
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[ Mikado shifts slightly, and wiggles his hips, trying to get his pants to come down a little further without having to pull at them himself. He's not wearing any underwear, and the scars on one of his hips come into view a little, just a row of little vertical lines, right over the hip bone.
He doesn't stop touching Sam, but he does back off from his ear, enough that he can look into his face instead. ]
I hope it's not too big a turn-off.
[ He slides his free hand up to cup Sam's face, very gently, stroking a finger against his cheek. It's almost an apology, really, and the way he slides his other hand downward over Sam's cock, plays fingers against his belly while cradling his erection, wanting to not overwhelm him with sexual touch and the question at once, but not wanting to break the contact either. ]
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He takes one hand away from Mikado's front to instead very lightly brush the pads of his fingers over one mark tentatively. ]
...Do they hurt?
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[ Mikado traces his finger down over Sam's jaw, then drops the hand down to rest on his shoulder, resisting any urge to play with his neck. ]
I just wanted to be sure you were okay with them.
[ He gives a little gentle squeeze to Sam's cock, then laughs gently. ]
You still want me?
[ There's a mischief dancing in his eyes that doesn't fit with the more serious issue of the scars, that says he doesn't want to take them too seriously, take himself too seriously, in the moment. ]
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I...I always want you okay??? [ He blurts it out like he's admitting some great secret. ] Scar or not! I l...I like you.
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Apparently, it doesn't work that way for Sam in the same way it can for Mikado. He leans in to kiss Sam again, as sweetly as he can manage, channeling the frustration into affection instead, for Sam's sake.
He tugs their hips together closer again, then helps Sam with getting his pants open, even as he kisses him, suddenly thinking of something he wants them to try. ]
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Mikado tells himself that despite the sick feeling in his stomach at how very easily Sam melts into him again, how easily his friend just accepts that Mikado can't respond to those kinds of confessions properly.
He's going to fuck this up, he knows it. But apparently not right this second, because right this second Sam is in his arms - even though he admitted to being a gangster! - and Mikado himself is fumbling with Sam's dick with one hand and his own with the other trying to do... something or other. What was he doing again?
Right, this... he's tries to press their cocks together, which is kind of difficult because he's trying to get Sam's hand out of the way, and his own to stop fumbling, and himself to do anything but think about feelings. ]
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He's not really sure what Mikado's trying to do. ]
...?
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