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S...so you're a gang...boss?? [ Sam gulps.

He is about 3000% sure if his parents ever found out they would not only disapprove, but he would be so grounded. ]

[ That's not how he'd put it. He'd point out that Dollars doesn't have a boss, that he just founded it, that... but then, he'd taken over Blue Square too. Even though Aoba had his own motives for that offer, Mikado had taken it, which means he's technically their leader. And his behavior toward Dollars was that of someone trying to take power, at least, even if he then intended to give it up. ]

Yeah. That's pretty much it.

....

If my parents found out, I'd be dead. Deader than dead. My dad's a police man you know. [ Mikado did you not think this through at all, holy moley. He's certain he'd talked at least a little about his family in that other world. ]

[ Mikado laughs at that, because he can't help himself, a soft amused chuckle. ]

I never claimed to be particularly smart. But you live with a vampire, I'm not sure they'd approve of that either.

Well...no, but... He's kind of like having a guardian. When he's not being immature. [ And not giving him sneaky handjobs in the dark. He's preeeetty sure his dad would arrest him for that. ]

I'm glad you have someone here for you.

[ And it's not like he can talk, considering he fucks Rayflo. And worse, Dio, but he doesn't even want to bring him into the conversation. Rayflo had been easier, because they lived together. ]

I just meant... things here are different. In that other world, that fake one that was like our homes, I really should have told you what you were getting into. But all I could think was that I wanted to be with you. And here, it's not like the gangs exist, but...

[ He shrugs his shoulders. ]

I don't want to tell you a bunch of other people's secrets. But everyone here I know from home, they were involved in stuff that was not so good. And that's why Masaomi wound up freaking me out enough I hurt myself, because we... he always tries to save me, and it never quite works out right.

[ He definitely can't claim that he'd still be with him if he'd known that to begin with (they might have remained solely friends, and none of this would have even become an issue), but despite his uncertainty over the fact, hearing that Mikado wanted to be with him regardless actually makes him feel...better.

Even if he worries now. ]

Were you...in trouble a lot?

Sort of.

[ He curls in on himself a little, shoulders and knees both pulling in toward each other, hands clasping tighter. ]

It's complicated. The thing is, once you start something like that, if you just walk away it doesn't stop. I felt responsible for it. I thought it was up to me to fix everything. So I kept getting in more and more trouble, trying to stop what I'd started, but I wasn't able to.

I think I mentioned to you before that I was injured when I first came here? That happened at home. I was in a fight with a man who was using my information network to stalk a celebrity, and had hurt some people close to her that were also friends of mine.

What?? But...why! That's awful! Are you okay?? [ Well obviously Mikado isn't hurt anymore since he's been fine most times Sam has seen him, but still. It's reflexive even if he feels a little silly for it afterwards. ]

It took me about a month of working with the belief power to fix the broken bones in my face.

[ He can laugh about it now, so he does. ]

I'm okay, really. But that's why, when I got here, all I wanted to do was help everyone. Because I hadn't been able to fix things at home, so I wanted to be a better person now.

A month?! [ Sam should focus on the rest of that, but he doesn't. Not when he hears that as he promptly blanches, leaning in without even thinking about it; earlier worries about space be damned. ] What did they do to you???

Edited 2015-11-15 13:27 (UTC)

[ Mikado doesn't shift away, even though he probably ought to. Instead, he just tries for a smile, wanting to reassure Sam. ]

Well, things were different then. We'd just gotten here, and no one knew how to use the belief power yet. And I didn't have sex right away either, so I wasn't all powered up. In fact, I almost faded out.

[ He doesn't know if he wants to answer the other question, but he is trying to be honest. ]

As for the fight, he slammed my head into the wall over and over. It was terrible, but look, I'm okay now. I fixed it without even any scars, in the end.

But that's... Isn't it scary?? Weren't you afraid? That's really serious--what if it'd been worse...? [ How Mikado can shrug it off so easily is beyond him. Sam still struggles with his attack from Mika; he hasn't had nightmares in a while, but he also hasn't slept along for most of that either. ]

I've had worse since.

[ Mikado blinks at Sam, confused. Doesn't he live in this world too? Doesn't he have to deal with things... no, Sam doesn't see things the same way. People don't treat him the same way. And probably he wouldn't hurt himself the same way Mikado did no matter what.

He's moving before he realizes it, pushing himself up from the couch and reaching out, tugging Sam toward him to meet in the middle somewhere in a hug. ]

Shh, I'm sorry I worried you. I just wanted to give you the backstory so I could explain what you walked into, that's really it.

[ And at first it surprises him. He realizes too late that they've touched and it makes him panic, dread what might happen as a result. He even tries to lean back for a second, but all he finds is a warm embrace. Mikado doesn't turn to ash or become translucent. His arms feel strong and firm, wrapped around him; it's only a matter of time before Sam lifts shaking hands to latch back onto him tightly, shaking. ]

I don't want--I don't want you to get hurt. [ He babbles, face quickly tucking itself into the crook of Mikado's neck. ]

[ Oops. Mikado hadn't even been thinking of that, and now it's too late. But he doesn't seem to be missing any parts, or seeing through himself, no. He drops a kiss on the top of Sam's head, then tucks him in under his chin a little better with a hand on his head. ]

It's okay, see? It's really going to be okay.

[ He finds himself rocking slightly, as one might rock a child, and then speaks again, very quietly. ]

I'm sorry that I'm such a mess, though. I wish I could be your Angel, but I'm really not.

[ It's the sort of thing his parents did for him as a child, but honestly right now he doesn't even mind. He just wants Mikado close, and holding him like this, and he wants things to be okay and normal and a way that's perfect. The kiss warms his skin a little, but not nearly so much as the swell of relief that fills up his chest as he's drawn closer. ]

Y'r not a mess... [ It comes out muffled and distorted thanks to where he's hidden his face, voice rumbling into the other's clothes. ] You're not the one afraid to touch people... You don't make them disappear.

That's different, Sam.

[ Mikado sighs, his chest rising and falling heavily against Sam's body. He gently starts to stroke the boy's hair, just trying to offer every comfort he can think of. ]

You're a good person. Whatever is going on with you, it's not really your fault, it's not something you can control. It's like... if you had a cold and someone else caught it, that wouldn't be something malicious. If it were a normal situation, you could just stay away from everyone, but this world isn't normal. You can't help having to touch people.

You just... maybe you should put the healers on speed dial. Josuke and Jonathan and whoever else.

The...the guy that's staying with Dio? [ Yes, Sam does know Jonathan Joestar. They've had more than...awkward first meeting, thanks to Dio, but there you go.

Sam doesn't lift his head, instead huddling just a little closer. So he isn't hunched over so much. ]

Mmhmm. He's the one who healed my injuries. He could probably have made them not scar too, but I decided I wanted to keep the scars.

[ That's probably a bad thing to tell Sam, but he's not thinking about it, just thinking about the healing abilities. ]

He was really helpful to me anyway. I'm not sure who has healing abilities other than those two, but it might be good to keep track of who can and talk to them about your problems, let them know you might need them to come help someone sometime? And warn people you're with ahead of time, maybe?

[ He pauses. ]

I mean, it is like being sick, kind of. You might cause someone else harm, but it's not because you're trying. So all you can do is take precautions, warn people, give them the choice about it.

[ At least for the moment, Sam is too preoccupied with his own insecurities to pay too much attention to the scar bit. Especially when faced with Mikado's solution. He clutches tighter at the other, forehead pressing against the other's neck. ]

I just want to be normal again.

I know.

[ Mikado continues to pet Sam softly, trying to think of what to even say. This is hard for him, because he knows there's nothing he can do. ]

I'm sorry I can't make that happen, Sam. You're just going to have to do your best with things the way they are.

Mmn... [ It's a sound of understanding, but not one of relief, happiness, or much hope honestly. Sam even deflates a little, but he never once retreats from the embrace Mikado offers. So long as it's there he's going to seek as much of those gentle touches and comforts as Mikado will gives him.

He needs them right now. ]

[ Mikado really doesn't know what to say at all. Here he's burdened Sam with his own stuff when the boy was already upset, just trying to explain something. And not really gotten to what he wanted to say, but he can't exactly do it now. That'll have to wait for some other time, if ever.

For now, he can't fix Sam's problem, and everything he can think of to say about it is pretty much more useless platitudes. Is it always going to be like this? He knows that Izaya is working on whatever Sam's problem is, but that's not particularly reassuring. He wishes he could do something about that too, but he knows better than to start some kind of fight against Izaya: there's no way he'd win, and Sam as the battleground would suffer far too much. ]

I'm right here.

[ He wants to say "I'm sorry" again, or offer words of love - but that would ultimately hurt them both - but instead all he does it tell Sam he's here. And show him, with more of those gentle touches, far more platonic and nurturing than what he'd planned on doing. He doesn't try to shift the tone at all, though a kiss pressed against Sam's head now and then only seems natural. ]

You promise? [ His words are scarcely above a whisper, but it's the most strength he's managed to muster so far. Of course he knows Mikado there, it's impossible not to with the embrace they're sharing. But what he really means by it is if Mikado will stay that way: five minutes from now, ten minutes--a week, maybe even five, or even after that. Even if his powers do become a problem.

Because this is the sort of thing he doesn't do with just anyone. Everyone else in Between is older, seems so much more adjusted to how crazy things are. No one seems to miss their homes, or if they do they never talk about it. No one talks about feeling lonely or sad or homesick or what scares and frightens them. It feels like sometimes he's the only one that wakes up crying some nights, missing his family and clinging to Rayflo if the vampire's around. He's the only one who still can't get used to the idea of having sex to survive even after four months of it.

He just has to put on a brave face and try not to seem...childish. Young. Weak. But with Rayflo and Mikado, that need isn't present so much. It feels a little less like he has to try that much harder. That he can let go some of his burden and seek the comfort and support he craves in moments like these. ]

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there is no sexy here